Chapter 16 Barrenness
From Other Little Ships
"Zechariah and Elizabeth were childless. Elizabeth was barren, and age had already crept upon them both." John 1:7
Read about the birth of John the Baptist in the first chapter of Luke's gospel. His father Zechariah was a priest. Both he and his wife were descendants of Aaron, the very first High Priest of Israel They were very good, God-fearing people.
But they were both old, he and Elizabeth. They were old and childless.
The scriptures use that awful word "barren." If you've never been touched by childlessness, barreness, you might not know the twist of heart involved in feeling physiologically, biologically, emotionally, and spiritually destined to reproduce and yet be empty.
It can be a devastating emptiness that I can only compare to the feeling that one feels at the cemetery after saying goodbye to someone you've loved. No one will ever call you "Daddy," no one will ever call you "Mommy." Disappointed potential Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins.
Mother's Day becomes the most excruciatingly painful day of the year. (Father's Day running a close second).
Your best friends hope to cheer you with news that THEY are expecting and you only hope that you can hide the intense and deep shame that you feel for hating them and resenting them for their good fortune. You see little babies at the mall or just on TV and you feel your jaw set in bitterness, then glance around hoping that no one saw such an unbelievably selfish expression on your face.
You cry and you hold each other in secret. Elizabeth blames herself and her own faulty maternal machinery. Zechariah questions and doubts his masculinity. But secretly Zechariah blames Elizabeth. Elizabeth blames Zechariah. And both of them know that the whole thing is really God's fault.
Does this all sound foreign to you? Does it sound overblown or exaggerated? Am I describing a struggle that you never knew existed? Just share this article with friends who live with infertility and they'll surprise you with their assent.
And yet . . . our God brings LIGHT out of the formlessness of the void. BANG!
He is the God who brought Isaac from barreness. And Samuel. And Samson.
He brought Jesus from a virgin. And John . . . from Zechariah and Elizabeth.
The God of happy endings? No. Not precious children for ALL childless couples. Some. But ALWAYS the possibility of happiness and joy and fulfillment from ANY barreness. The God who can bring light into any darkness.
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